Josh Byrnes is a very confusing dude. Carlos Quentin the hottest trade chip out there? Screw that, he signs him to an extension to the 2015 season. The "experts" say, "OK, OK, we'll give you the Quentin signing since he's a hometown guy, but seriously, Josh you have to trade Huston Street. He's injury prone and why would this horrible team need to spend money on a closer? They'll never be able to afford their lone All-Star representative!!" Byrnes then looked them in the eye and said "Oh yeah "experts"?" and immediately signed Street to an extension for less money than he's making this year.
Then with the deadline quickly approaching, the NEW hottest trade chip out there was Padres third baseman Chase Headley. Those same "experts" were saying, "Dude, Josh we get it! You are Loco in the cabeza. But seriously you are being offered a bajillion players for Chase. You HAVE to trade him!" Once again Byrnes scoffed at this notion and went with the exact opposite approach than what everyone thought/said he'd do and kept Headley.
Hence why I decided to start calling him "Wild Card Byrnes". Not Wild Card as in, "congrats you are 1 of the 17 teams to earn a Wild Card Spot this year-signed Bud Selig". But Wild Card as in WILD CARD BITCHES!! YEEEHAAAWWWWW!!!
You never know what Byrnes is going to do. When the media and so called experts tell him to do one thing he does the exact opposite. Therefore I am starting a TRADE CHASE HEADLEY CAMPAIGN. I am neither an expert nor am I media, but if we can rally enough people together this just might catch on. Don't bother looking at his awesome stats, his solid defense, the Player of the Week award this past week or his dashing good looks. Just follow me with pitch forks to Josh Byrnes' office demanding that Headley be traded. After that we sit back and watch Wild Card Byrnes work his magic....
Perhaps I should BOLD the part where I say ..."When the media and so called experts tell him to do one thing he does the exact opposite. Therefore I am starting a TRADE CHASE HEADLEY CAMPAIGN."
That way the people who failed reading comprehension can understand the post. Byrnes does the opposite of what people say. I said to trade Headley. Therefore I want him to do the opposite of trade Headley and SIGN Headley. It's not funny if I have to spell it out. Thanks for ruining the post......
Or maybe the part where I heap tons of praise on him by saying..."Don't bother looking at his awesome stats, his solid defense, the Player of the Week award this past week or his dashing good looks."Byrnes is now on to me and my schenanigans so if Headley isn't signed this off-season it's all on you guys....and your reading comprehension skills.