While most of you people were drinking enough alcohol to kill a bear, getting arrested or doing God knows what yesterday, I on the other hand was on my couch at home. You might be saying "But SDPads1, you said you were going to be at Opening Day. What happened!?!" Well I'll tell you what happened. I stabbed someone and have to lay low for a while. OK, OK I didn't stab anybody (I guess I shouldn't be joking about that, especially when the Dodgers are in town). What really happened was I had explosive diarrhea and felt I should stay close to a bathroom at all times. OK that didn't happen either (Diarrhea is also no laughing matter). What REEEEAAALLLLY happened was Tony Gwynn told me not to go. True story. I'm a "real fan" and you guys aren't, therefore I'm going to tonight's game (tickets in hand) and plan on going to the game I dubbed the true Gwynn Opener for 2012 on Tuesday (Soon to buy tickets).*
So I sat at home and watched the game yesterday. It was nice. My couch is pretty comfy and reclines. I have a nice new big screen HD TV. I even have Cox Cable, so I was able to see the game. I didn't get arrested. I had a nice ravioli & Italian sausage meal that was filling, as well as good for me. I didn't have to struggle to find parking because my truck sat in it's assigned parking spot. I saved a small fortune on food, booze, parking, gas and who knows what else. I even got to take a little nap mid-game. The pants came off around the 6th inning. My phones battery died...but wait, I was at home so I was able to plug it in so I could keep following all you knuckleheads on Twitter. Everyone mentions their personal record while going to games. Like "Oh the Padres are 5-3 in the 8 games I went to this year". Well guess what suckers, you are all 0-1 while my record sits at a respectable 0-0. As the game was winding down I hit record on my DVR, tuned in to Ted, Andy, Jerry & Scan in the car and went to see 21 Jump Street finally. I grabbed a Pink Starburst from Jamba Juice on my way in and proceeded to laugh and enjoy the movie. Afterwards I came straight home and was tucked in bed by 9:30. I am the true vision of a party animal.
*What really happened was the tickets were bought through a different method than usual. Got the actual tickets Wednesday night, didn't look at them, went to work, came home, showered, got ready, grabbed the tickets as I was walking out the door....THEN looked at them and realized it was for Fridays game. D'oh! Oh well, I'll re-start my Opening Day steak again next year.